i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
