"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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