I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Randomize
