I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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