So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Randomize
