i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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