Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
