i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
