trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
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