i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
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He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
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