It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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