Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
