Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
We got so high we made milksteak
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
