don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
