I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
