Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
