I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
