so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize