He asked me if I "almost moaned"
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
