Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
