I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
