D3 body, D1 cock
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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