Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
this boner is exhausting
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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