I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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