it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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