Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
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