My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I FOUND THE LEGS
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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