The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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