I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
