I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
