TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
