I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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