someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
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I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
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Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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