dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize