We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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