READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
