Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
he was CRYING into my vagina
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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