Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
