I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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