I am in a vortex of obligation.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
You ate ashes out of my bong
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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