he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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