carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
