I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I want her autograph on my taint
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
