hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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