Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
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