Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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