White coat. Heels.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
You're a waste of cheezeits
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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