you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's paint friendship bongs
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize