so that wasnt chicken after all
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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