Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
The convent might be a nice break from real life
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
