If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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