i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
