I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
