You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
That accounts for only three of the penises
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
