why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
