Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
