I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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