And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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