I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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