that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
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