I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
