It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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