i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
