This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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