just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
