This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
