I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
