I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
