I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
