I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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